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Sex Facts
From chuck norris planet, a free chuck encyclopedia (not Wiki or Chuck Norris affiliated)
- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly
- Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom
- The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar
- chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy
- There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice
- Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight
- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you
- Chuck Norris never "gets laid", rather: "laid gets Chuck".
- Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors
- When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women
- Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday
- Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice
- There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris
- Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back
- On Valentine's Day, Chuck Norris gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, Chuck Norris believes every day should be Valentine's Day
- chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy
- Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris
- Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does
- 70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick
- Chuck Norris' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China
- Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years
- Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always
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Chuck Norris does not procreate, he breeds
- Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate
- Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Chuck Norris heads outside and brands his cattle
- Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris
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Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does
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