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Literature
From chuck norris planet, a free chuck encyclopedia (not Wiki or Chuck Norris affiliated)
- The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
- Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
- Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed.
- In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
- Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.
- Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
- Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opporunity saying "there isn't enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member". He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants.
- Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
- Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
- Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
- > Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
- According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks
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Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
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