- Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror
- They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody
- Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper
- Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims
- Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people
- Chuck Norris doesnt use after shave, he uses liquid hot magma
- Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them
- Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths
- Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year
- Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap
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| Chuck Norris Facts |
Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror
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