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Nature
From chuck norris planet, a free chuck encyclopedia (not Wiki or Chuck Norris affiliated)
- Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down
- Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
- Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
- It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
- Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
- Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
- The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
- Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
- There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
- Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale.
- No matter what your mother always said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.
- Chuck Norris visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".
- Chuck Norris Buillt Mount Everest with a bucket and spade.
- Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
- Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.
- Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.
- Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.
- Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty
- Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
- If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
- Chuck Norris invented water.
- Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
- Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.
- When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
- The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
- When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
- Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.
- Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
- Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
- Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain
- Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants
- A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly
- Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian race horse
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| Chuck Norris Facts |
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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